It’s that time of year again. Mother’s Day is fast approaching. This is a beautiful holiday when children of all ages honor their mothers for their love, patience, and guidance. But most of all, for the gift of life. But as a stepmother, Mother’s Day can be the furtherest thing from a joyous occasion. Now I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that my stepson loves me. I am with him 7 days a week, about 28 days out of the month. And since my husband works long hours and is out of town several days a month, me and my stepson spend a lot of time together. Which is great. I love being so involved as a (step)mother. And the more holidays that pass, I am more accepting of my place as “not the REAL mom”. But still, it can be hard.
It’s hard because even though I did not give birth to him, I do all the things any other “REAL MOM” would do. I wake up early, fix breakfast, lay out clothes, double check that he has brushed his teeth, remind him to grab his bag and jacket, head to school, get him there on time, tell him I love him and to have a great day. I wash his bed sheets, wash his clothes, make sure he has everything he will need later for his sports practice, clean his room, bathroom, etc. Then pick him up, ask him how his day was, double check that he remembered to bring his homework folder home, turn back around and go back to the school when he realizes he “forgot” his reading book for the third time this week, then head home, do homework, eat a snack, go to practice, cook dinner, and on, and on, and on. You get the picture, right? I do these things. And I LOVE being mom. He fills a place in my heart that makes me SO happy.
The hard part is when his “REAL MOM” tells him that I don’t need a card on Mother’s Day because I am not his “REAL MOM”. That because he didn’t come from my womb, he isn’t mine. It hurts.
I don’t ask for much. I’ve never expected him to call me “mom” or for him to put me on a pedestal. But a phone call on Mother’s Day would be nice. Or if his mom took him to pick out a card for me. Or even allowed him to craft a card for me to say “Happy Mother’s Day”. That would mean the world to me. Especially since I’ve always done that for her.
So anyway, I don’t mean to whine. I have accepted that things are the way they are. Maybe one day they will be different. But I have low expectations for now. So what I got to thinking about tonight is that I wonder how God feels when he has to share us with our earthly parents. I mean, here he is, our Father. And how often do we thank him and think of him on those special holidays? I tried to imagine that how I felt, he must feel even more. Or perhaps he is much more mature than I am (I KNOW HE IS!) and so it doesn’t bother him at all. These are just the thoughts going through my mind tonight!
So Happy Mother’s Day! To you all! Everyone who shows up for the children in their lives. Every woman who is there for the children, no matter what the circumstance. You matter. You are important. And I appreciate you. XOXO